- Q. Is there a recycle bin around? I have junk mail I need to discard.
A. I have a waste basket right here. - I just got back from my Mexico vacation. I had an all-inclusive, beach front hotel. I never made it outside of the compound, except to and from the airport.
- My barbeque grill was filthy, so I sparked it up, put in on full and burned it off for 20 minutes. Nothing like a good smoke to kill the germs.
- I’m disappointed that Obama won.
- (When ordering at a restaurant) No I don’t want the micro-brewed dark ale, I’ll have a Labatt’s Blue please.
- In my experience, it’s much easier to get along with a male manager than a female manager.
- I told my 12 year old kid, if he wanted to go to his baseball game he could ride his bike, I don’t have the time for these things.
- I don’t think it is part of my job description to go to a soup kitchen with my work team and volunteer my time.
- (When ordering at a restaurant during a work lunch) I’ll have a double vodka with club soda, in a tall glass with a slice of lime please.
- I had computer troubles so I phoned the Help Desk and specifically asked for Bill. The other guy has an accent that I find difficult to understand at times.
UPDATE: These are not my personal opinions. I was attempting satire. I thought of things that would be perfectly normal to say 25 years ago, that might not be anymore.
