Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Hollywood Is the New GM

Forbes magazine listed the top earners for actors over the last year.

1. Harrison Ford
2. Adam Sandler
3. Will Smith
4. Eddie Murphy
5. Nicolas Cage

Yep, you read that one right. If that isn't a sign that Hollywood has no new ideas, I don't know what is.

I guess these washed up, cardboard cut-outs are what the public wants? When's the last time you and your friends talked about a great Eddie Murphy movie? 1983? Do people actually enjoy Adam Sandler movies? I guess so. Since my IQ is in triple digits, I find it hard to relate.

There was actually a time that I liked Nicolas Cage. Wild at Heart, Raising Arizona. Since then, he has done so many bad movies it literally makes me nauseous if I see his face on the screen. I feel like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, after his rehabilitation: "TURN IT OFF! PLEASE, TURN IT OFF!"

Will Smith. Hate to be a snob, but the Fresh Prince doesn't do it for me. All big laughs and high fives.

The only movie I can name from any of these guys over the last few years is Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I saw about 20 minutes of it before turning it off. An 88 year old Harrison Ford, hides in a refrigerator at ground zero of a nuclear blast. The fridge gets blown into the air several miles, and lands in a thud. Ford opens the door, dusts himself off and walks away unharmed. It was so bad, a new phrase was added to the Urban Dictionary: Nuke the Fridge.
Nuke the fridge is a colloquialism used to refer to the moment in a film series that is so incredible that it lessens the excitement of subsequent scenes that rely on more understated action or suspense, and it becomes apparent that a certain installment is not as good as previous installments, due to ridiculous or low quality storylines, events or characters.
Hollywood is the new GM. They're going down. Those big budget, unwatchable movies with cardboard actors mean the studios won't be able to sustain themselves.


  1. And I hate the way you always have to hear how this year, was the biggest ever. Almost all movies in the current environment, are made for people under the age of 12.
    Hey, I am not complaining, I just don`t go to movies anymore.

  2. Alright, I have a Google account!